Dig Down Deep. Episode 3. The Quarter Life Crisis - An Escape

Alright, now I’m sure many of you are aware of the term called “mid life crisis” which is an identity crisis that people face in their 40’s, but since most of the people listening to this podcast are young millennials, therefore I am going to talk more about something similar to the midlife crisis and which is more relevant and relatable to this particular generation. What I’m talking about is called the “Quarter life crisis”

The exact meaning of the quarter life crisis is that it is a crisis which involves anxiety over the direction and quality of a person’s life and it is most commonly experienced when someone is in their early 20’s and can stay up till your 30’s. Now, I’m gonna try to explain this with an example, suppose you got yourself a Netflix subscription because you wanted to see “Dark” or “Baaghi”, whatever your taste it, not judging you. 

And after you are done watching it, you want to see more stuff, you want to explore more shows, but the problem is that there is an infinite number of shows on Netflix, and you don’t want to waste your time watching something which is not of your taste, so you ask around for good recommendations, from your friends, from reading articles online about it.

Now this similar problem is applicable to the lives of the people of our generation as well, especially when it comes to the topic of our careers. As a generation we have been raised in the era of internet and technology and there is a large number of choices in front of us than any generation prior to us when it comes to choosing our career paths. I can work in a startup or start my own business or work as a freelancer or go for the conventional 9-5 job and this is not the end of the choices that technology provides us, it also lets you decide what your priorities are going to be, weather you put security first or money or fulfillment or flexibility.

And just like what happened to you in the case of Netflix and the endless choices, the same thing happens to the people of our generation, being surrounded with so many choices and making sure you make the right one, which is the most meaningful and fulfilling can be a very overwhelming and challenging task. Because like Netflix, you can’t cancel the subscription to life and start it all over again.

This usually happens when you graduate college or are on the verge of graduating and having a transition from the academic world to the real world. This situation in which you have to choose from this vast sea of options and make a right decision leads the person towards an identity crisis, making him question who he really is, what is it that he actually wants to do, which is usually something unconventional or related to the person’s passion because that seems a good way to lead a meaningful life, to do what you like to do. This further kicks in the anxiety and fear of failure and the “what ifs” and “Buts” come in action, which creates this endless loop of finding the correct path and running it through the analysis paralysis, ultimately leading to a crisis in the lives of these people.

This crisis may even occur at a further stage in some people’s lives, where they chose what they wanted to do, they ticked all the boxes according to their needs and priorities at a very early age and eventually they realized that they are not really fulfilled and there is void that still remains in their lives. 

Now, there is something that I would like to add, this concept of Quarter Life Crisis is not universally applicable to everyone who is currently in his 20’s. There is a high chance that you never faced it in your lives, and you never will, but for those of you who had a problem in identifying yourselves, who had a problem in figuring out what they actually want to do with their lives, who still thing that they have to find something that is actually fulfilling I can suggest you some things that might help you go through it.

I think a very good approach towards living a fulfilling life and making sure your actions add some sort of meaning in your lives is to prioritize. When you ask a young person what they want to do in life, most of the times he or she will respond in a vague chill manner, “I wanna be happy.” “I can do anything, there are so many options.” Now that line of thinking is not wrong, but there are two things about life which I’d like to tell you, first is that, your time and your energy are non renewable resources and second is that, most of the times you can’t have everything.

Both of these statements, if looked upon in a deeper level, put emphasis on the idea of prioritizing. What adds meaning to your life? Is it money? Great; But probably you’ll lose the privilege of being flexible and having more time for your friends and family. If making a difference and helping the society adds meaning your life, go for it, but you might not be able to make a lot of money? For every choice you make, there is a trade off. So, you need to set up your priorities and be aware about what you want and for how long will you be wanting it.

One more thing that stops or scares our generation from doing what they actually want to do is the fear of the social clock. A social clock is a preplan of where one wants to be in the upcoming future and how tuned that plan is with the society he’s living in. If someone wants to take up singing at the age of 23 and he’s genuinely good at it, most of the times he might not do it because of the fear of trailing behind in the social clock, the courage to do what he likes and is good at  comes at an expense at times, you’ll probably have to work for 5 years more and be successful at 35 unlike your friends but sometimes  the fear of missing out grips the person and makes him go for something which is more readily accepted and is more tuned in with the common notion.

So, a good approach would be to make your own social clock and implement it, according to the priorities that you have chosen. Apart from that, the best advice that anyone can give another person is to just do it, don’t over think or overanalyze it, especially when once you have started with it. Things take time and regular efforts, and you might not end up where you thought you would eventually, walking on a path leads up to other paths and opportunities. 

But if you are just sitting back there analyzing every option and every possibility and not working on it, it won’t be fruitful. A person who wants to win the lottery is supposed to buy the ticket, and most of us just wish to make it big without putting in the effort to buy the ticket.

So, plan it out, don’t be afraid of all these choices, you know yourself best, prioritize and start with it and eventually you’ll realized you are fulfilled without any conscious efforts. And that is the key to happiness.